Thursday, September 9, 2010

Get ya head in the game...

It's time to post something new. Here's a little of what's going on.

I have a vent. I'm so sick of my mom's BS! I moved back home to start over after a failed marriage (which the divorce will be finalized in less than 2 weeks!), & a broken heart. I'm in a lot of pain, not just physically. I have ONE friend that I can count on & hang out with. A family friend. We've known each other (the families) since I was just out of diapers. Well, now all of a sudden it's NOT ok for us to hang out! WTF?! I finally have someone who I know I will never lose. I mean they have been there all of my life through everything. But now our parents are trying to "nip it in the butt", like something's gonna happen! We both agree that we're not looking for a relationship right now, just focusing on ourselves, & innocent leaning on each other. What's so wrong with that?! My mom has been so nasty towards him that it's unreal! I'm stressed out, having nightmares & terrors every night & day. I don't sleep more than an hour at a time. Literally. He had a really bad breakup from his fiance (now ex-fiance), just as my fiance & I broke up recently. We comfort each other. That's what friends do. But all of a sudden that's so wrong! I don't understand! I don't have anyone else that I can hang out with or count on. I don't have a job yet & no vehicle. I can't get away from this house and chaos. I'm so stressed out and confused. I've lost my mind! My mom is being such a jerk to me! I've done nothing to her to deserve this! I do everything she asks me and then some! I let her push me over & this is the treatment I get?! It's ridiculous! Not to mention she tells me that I'm depressed and need professional help AND drugs! She tells my sister and brother that I can just leave; she doesn't care if she loses me, another child; She's miserable so she'll make everyone else miserable too. WTF?!? I have nowhere to go except the street or states away. I don't want that. I'm in over my head. It'll take me at least a couple of months to get on my feet, on my own. But in the meantime, I have to hang in there. I don't feel like I can anymore. I've lost my will....

On top of this, my bestie went into ICU today due to stress...similar to my situation actually. They diagnosed him with diabetic ketoacidosis (body is full of toxins). He has type 1 diabetes (born with it). Lucky to be alive at 21. Now lucky to be alive after this. He nearly died earlier today. I've been losing friends like flies lately & now this?! Oy Vay! As of right this minute he's still in ICU, but gonna pull through. THANK THE LORD!

Talk to the lawyer today. The offer wasn't enough to cover bills, lawyer fees, & a $50,000 surgery. So I have to send them more records, which they already have, but I'm gonna send them anyways. Lawyer says I have a good chance of doubling their initial offer without having to go to trial. WOOT!

Jason, the family friend, & I went walking today. A habit we are starting to get in shape & get out of the houses & away from the chaos. Today is was around Lake Holingsworth. It's 3 miles. Haven't done that in YEARS! I'm sore, but feel great! Gonna be doing this every chance we get, if not every day. YAY!

That was my vent, with a lil positivity in there. I also took a break from my B90, which is a no-no. So I have started it back up again. Today is officially Thursday (Eastern time) so later I'll be posting my Thursday Five! Woot! I'm getting back in the game peeps! Deuces!

1 comment:

  1. I hope your mother comes around and realizes you just need some support and a shoulder right now- but be careful... she might be able to see something you can't between you and Jason and is just watching out for your own good... although even as I type that I'm disgusted that people actually think they know what "your own good" is. I hope he recovers quickly and I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers.

    AWESOME job with healthing it up!