My new tank. So CUTE!

Feeling Free

I've been through a lot the past couple years..mostly in this one. Death, divorce, breakups, constant drama. There were a few dark moments I really didn't see myself finding the light again. Ready to leave this world behind...no matter WHOM I left behind. But as time goes on, I continue to fight through the chaos, and when I least expected it, a little glimmer opened my eyes, took hold of my hand, and is slowly leading me out of this darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time there was a girl. She was just a normal girl, but she believed in all things of beauty and magic. For her, every day was new; every day was an adventure. She saw beauty in the simplest of things and felt the pull of discovery every day. The world was a glittery mass, resplendent in light and floating in a sea of falling stars.

But one day, darkness came upon the girl. It came in waves, crashing down on her every time she started to get her feet beneath her. She floundered in the upsurge, unable to determine either the direction from which the waves came or the direction toward light. The dark was so vast and overwhelming that she did not think she would ever escape. In truth, there were times when she felt that she was about to be swept out into nothingness, never to be seen nor heard from again.

Until. Until one day when a single star caught her attention. She was so startled by the light that she nearly could not comprehend what it was; for a moment, she lost track of it. Her heart paused in the cage of her chest and she held her breath. Where was it? Where was it?

And then, sweet relief. As her eyes settled once more, and fully, upon the single orb of light in the distant sky, the girl's heart beat and her breath renewed. Beyond that, she felt a twist and loosening of something within her heart and sensed that something binding her soul had been released. She felt buoyant and free--and, as she watched, her skies lit up again.

Movin over...

I started a new blog recently so I'm moving over there. If my lovely followers wouldn't mind hoppin over there and following the new blog, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Love & hugs to my lovely readers! Thanks for the support!

Link is here:
http://lettersfromthejourneyofagirl.blogspot.com/

An open letter...

I just feel the need to write. I can't sleep. I've gone through a lot this year. Well the past four years. It decides to hit me at the worst moments. Like when I'm trying to sleep!

Three years, four months ago I married the sweetest, kindest man on earth. A hasty decision most didn't agree with, since we had only been together for about 3 months. Not even known each other a year. Oh it was exciting! We just KNEW we were perfect together! This was the happiest time in our lives! Nothing could end this bliss!
Three years, two months ago I found my father-in-law dead in our home. That was the day our lives changed forever. Unfortunately, it changed us. As individuals and as a couple. I drew closer to him because he was my husband. My soul mate. My everything. I gave up everything for him. The decision to marry him caused me to lose a lot of friends and people to turn their back on me. But I had HIM, so no one else mattered. He..I don't know where he went. He shut me out. Nothing I did was good enough, or just didn't measure up to his expectations. The abuse began.
Eight months ago we separated. Three years of emotional, mental, & verbal abuse wasn't enough for me to give up. I stuck it through, praying & holding on to what I thought was "happiness", which really was a nightmare. The last straw for me was when he did something utterly STUPID. I'm not going into details, but all I can say is I'm really glad I got away when I had the chance, else I may not be here today. Well, the decision to leave him was a bad one for most people. This is because we are VERY good actors. We don't allow our business or issues in public. We keep it private, behind closed doors. Good and bad. We tried counseling and what not, but obviously it was a lost cause. Our friends and family had NO idea what was really going on in our marriage. To them, we were the ideal couple. But that was all a ruse because we didn't want others in our personal issues. So...when we split...it broke everyone's hearts. And of course they didn't agree with the decision. Since I was the one who left, he seemed like & played the victim. Still does.
Two months ago our divorce was finalized. Again, bad choice. There goes the rest of the friends I had left. So many wanted us to seek other counseling and make it work. I'm sorry, but we tried that and it didn't work. I accepted my wrongs and what I could've done differently. He would not. There are too many irreconcilable differences. It's unfortunate, we can't even be friends, even though we get along much better now than ever. I've been doing GREAT...until I get a phone call from my sister saying that my name is in the paper..under divorces. WOW.

Ok reality, stop slapping me in the face please?!

I've been doing ok. Well...not really. I went to Connecticut for a lil while. I moved actually. What started as a lil vacay with a close friend, turned into a full blown/complicated relationship with a sailor, ended with another broken heart. I'm tattered and torn, but I'm still a person with feelings, hopes, and desires. So, needless to say, I'm back home with the rents...in Fl. Back to where I started three and a half years ago. No job, no car, no income whatsoever, & stressed to the max! I'm overwhelmed with all that's happened and the chaos that goes on around me. I understand others don't always approve of my decisions, but the least they could do is support me. My family at the very least! That's just too much to ask coming from ME I suppose.

I have a new guy, although he isn't really new. We've grown up together, since we were barely out of diapers, pretty much. We recently got back in touch, started hanging out, & one thing led to another. Here we are, two months later. Two individuals, despite unfortunate events, starting over. As people and as a couple. Fighting through life, judgment, & recession. Disregarding the odds. Moving on from the past. Creating an amazing future..together..believing in noone but each other. Because each other is who, all, we have.

Wee bit of Mee

  {one} what time do you normally wake up?Well, considering I don't have a job currently, I don't have a bedtime or wake up time. But about 5-6am I get a little antsy waiting for a good morning text =) I'm usually up right after I hear from mah babeh, no matter when I actually went to sleep.
{two} do you have a go-to song for karaoke?

Don't do karaoke so don't have a song

{three} if you could only see black and white except for one color, what color would you choose to see?Probably pink. Or red. They're romantic colors and I'm a hopeless romantic.
{four} what color best matches your personality?Probably pink. I'm a softy at heart, but I'm spunky too.
{five} if you could choose one meal to cook better than anyone else, what would it be?Maybe a roast. Growing up, every Sunday after church, my mom &/or grandma would make this amazing roast & delicious sides. When my grandma passed away that tradition unfortunately ended. I would LOVE to start it again & pass it on in my own family. I did make one once and everyone thought it was amazing. Sad thing is, I don't remember all that I did with it. I like to experiment when I cook, and whip things up, and I always forget to write down what exactly I did.
{six} how many keys do you have on your key ring?oh jeez...5 or 6. A few house keys, po box & mail box keys, and a couple I have no clue what they are.
{seven} do you give your pets birthday/christmas gifts?Since I got my cat from a pet store, I don't know her birthday except the month she was born in. But Christmas I may get her a lil something and this year I'm going to make animal treats for the animals. =)
{eight} when your plate has different foods on it, do you mix or not?Oh yes! I love to mix things up. My favorite is corn and mashed potatoes. And hash browns and eggs. But my bacon I eat alone because I enjoy it soooo much. =)
{nine} if you could hire someone to do one thing for you all the time, what would it be?

 I hate to do dishes, but I think I hate sweeping/mopping/vacuuming more.

{ten} when flying, do you prefer the window or aisle seat?WINDOW! I love to look out the window and see the world under me. Plus, I have a slight anxiety and looking out the window helps calm me down. Maybe it's a little claustrophobia? I'm not sure.

Wee bit of Mee

{one} do you collect anything? if so, what and how long have you been collecting? 

Tiggers. Stuffed tiggers. Anything tigger. hehe 
{two} what is one cleaning tip that you swear by?  
I dont' think I have any cleaning tips. I just use whatever is at my disposal, or whatever.
{three} who would you call for bail money?  
Probably my mom. She may not have it, but she will definitely find a way to get it!.
{four} what is one thing you miss about being a kid?  
The innocence. I'm going out on a limb saying this, but it was taken away too soon. I miss the lack of responsibility too. When a kids biggest problem was figuring out which color crayon to use.
{five} name a few of your guilty pleasures.
Starbucks frappes! And chocolate! I can NOT resist any kind of chocolate!
{six} how early do you start your holiday shopping?  
I'm an early starter.
{seven} what is a family tradition that you would like to pass on to your significant other/children?  
Setting up the Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving. And then burning it on New Years! It's a family event.
{eight} what do you consider your greatest achievement?  
So far, just living. Being alive. Overcoming seemingly impossible obstacles.
{nine} what do you do to pamper yourself? 
I take long showers. Lotion freak! I take my time getting ready for things. Do my hair and makeup. It's rare that I do this, but when I do it's like a lil pamper myself time. I dont' have the money to go out and get my hair and nails done and all that brouhaha so I do my own thing for myself.
{ten} if you were to start your own restaurant, what would it be called?
Something with my name in it, obviously. And maybe something to do with Strawberry because I'm a strawberry everything FREAK! I've joked about starting my own place and having nothing but strawberry flavors and what-not, since I was a little girl. It would be fun to do. Maybe....

Wee bit of Mee-Halloween edition

 

 {one} have you ever seen a ghost?Don't think so. When I was 12, I was helping an aunt move..and I swear I heard a baby laughing and the rocking chair in the room...was moving. It's a long story.
{two} when was the last time you dressed up for halloween?

Oh sheesh...YEARS

{three} what’s your favorite candy?Almost anything with chocolate...but all in all I think Reese's Peanut Butter cups..
{four} did you have a favorite costume growing up?Minnie Mouse..it was actually for a homecoming skit in which I was running for queen. I had the entire costume..make up and all. It was close to Halloween though!
{five} did you carve pumpkins this year?Nope. I've actually never carved pumpkins. Maybe next year.
{six} what’s your favorite scary movie?Uuumm...I'm not really into scary movies or horror flicks. I was when I was little. But now...NO WAY! lol The closest I can get is maybe The Nightmare Before Christmas.
{seven} haunted houses or corn mazes?I think mazes because Haunted Houses are cheesy.
{eight} are you superstitious?nope.
{nine} have you ever owned a black cat?I'm not sure actually. My cat now is a dark grey..close enough right?
{ten} what are you plans for this coming halloween?If I'm back in time, trick or treating with the nieces I'm sure. I have no life...so no parties for me. :-(

Wee bit of Mee

Just a wee bit about me...

{one} have you ever crawled through a window?
Yep

{two} what’s one subject that you wish you knew more about?
Probably history or literature...it's a tie

{three} who’s your favorite villain?
I can't say I have a favorite. But the one that pops out is Jafar from Aladdin. I was OBSESSED with this movie when I was little. He always kind of scared me. But I don't do villains. I'm a princess kinda girl. =)

{four} have you ever hit a jackpot on a slot machine?



nope never played.

{five} what is your favorite Disney movie?
I'd have to say Beauty and the Beast. When I was in first grade, we had a costume contest. My mom made me a dress similar to Bell's. Funny thing...my crush...was prince charming. Well to make a long story short, I won the contest...and so did he! Everyone thought we were a couple. hehe We became close buddies after that. =)

{six} if the whole world were listening, what would you say?
I believe in the golden rule. Treat others how you wanna be treated. Respect and trust others, as well as yourself. Love without conditions. Live without expectations because they only lead to disappointment.

{seven} if you could choose one song to describe you or your life, what would it be?
Honestly I'm not sure...I'll have to get back to you on that. =(

{eight} your desk: messy or organized?
Definitely organized. My own purse is organized!

{nine} have you ever had surgery?
When I was four I was mauled by a pit bull. He quite literally tore the flesh off my face and his tooth was a hairline from crushing my skull, therefore killing me. I remember everything! Except the pain. I just remember my body going into shock when the screen door slammed and next thing I know...he's on top of me chomping down. My aunt and uncle eventually got him off me and the only thing I was worried about was where was my mommy! I didn't even cry. Not a tear. lol

{ten} if you could have any animal as a pet, what would you have?
I wouldn't have any kind of wild animal. My grandma has a few..and I would never be able to try to domesticate a wild creature. But cats are my thing. =)

T5

Haven't posted in a bit. I missed it on Thursday, but why not on Friday?! Anywho, here goes.

HAPPY

 

GIDDY

JOY

 

GLEE

THANKFUL

 

 

One
I'm happy this week is over.
 
Two
I'm so excited for this weekend! Sea World on Saturday & my 4 year old niece, Hannah's, birthday party! 


Three
I'm hoping that plans stay & even come better together for my trip next weekend!


Four
Winter is HERE! My favorite time of year! Thanksgiving-Christmas! LOVE IT! Can't wait to get in my winter clothes and take advantage of this snuggly time!


Five
I've been grumpy lately. All yesterday especially. But honestly, I'm thankful for being alive; able to wake up breathing, seeing, and hearing everyday. A new chance to make things right and make better decisions. 

Throughout the business of our lives, we need to take time out and reflect. Be grateful for LIFE. Stop and "smell the roses". If not everyday, try it once a week. I challenge you.

Wee bit of Mee

It's not Wednesday, obviously. But I got it a little late. My internet was down. Anywho, so here's a little about me!

 {one} what is your biggest pet peeve?Judgmental people
{two} what is your favorite dessert?Anything chocolate or strawberry cheesecake
{three} what is the first thing you notice about people?

Their smile

{four} are you usually late, early or right on time?Late
{five} have you ever fired a gun?In high school, I was in JROTC, and fired a rifle!
{six} are you right-handed or left-handed?I'm ambidextrous actually...hehe
{seven} which do you prefer: coke or pepsi?When I drink it, pepsi
{eight} do you dance crazy when no one is looking?NO WAY!!! Ok, maybe...
{nine} what’s your favorite movie snack?popcorn and sour worms
{ten} do you scream on roller coasters?I probably would if I could ride them...I have a heart condition.


Okay, your turn!

Thursday/Friday Five

Here's my Thursday/Friday Five! Just a quick reflect on the past week. Sorry it's late...had issues with the internet the past two days.

Content

Thankful

Adored

Giggly

blessed

 

 

One ~  I am content with who I am. I'm not changing for anyone. I'm being me..Talia. What you see is who you get. 

 

Two ~  I'm thankful for supportive people in my life. I wouldn't make it without you! For the hundred against me, there's one for me. I'm truly grateful for wonderful friends.

 

Three ~  My teddy is the only one I can TRULY count on. One who always listens and doesn't try to fix me. Just hold me through this storm. He gives me courage and strength, all while making me weak at the knees with his wonderful charm! A sweetheart and romantic. And he adores and respects me! I could not ask for better! I look forward to a lifetime of unconditional love from one who'll never betray me. =)

 

Four ~  My nieces Jaylen and Halie are two of the most precious babies EVER! They're so cute and happy. And we love to giggle together. We're a giggly trio when we're together! Jaylen is 2 months and Halie is 6. Even if I'm having a bad day...they always seem to brighten it!

 

Five ~  I'm so very blessed! I feel like Job at times, losing everything and everyone...but I've gained better, trustworthy, relationships. God's timing is perfect. Well it's His divine timing. I've been down for so long and so deep that the only way from here...is up! Looking forward to future blessings!

 

 

There you have it! My Thursday/Friday Five! I challenge you, my readers, to jot down 5 things that have made you feel these words (above) this past week. Go over to Mrs. Gambizzle, grab her button, and link up! It's a rewarding experience. 

 

Comment if you like! I like comments! =) I'll even return the favor...just post your link in the comments!

A new start

So I'm setting up a whole new blog and moving over there. The sailor and I are no longer together. It's much too difficult to just change the name than it would to start a whole new blog. My only issue...I'm usually good at this, but I can't seem to figure out what to call the new blog. Any hints? Just leave your comments below! Thanks everyone!

Thursday Five

Yay it's Thursday! I'm unusually excited about this one for some reason! Maybe because I feel extra giddy today?! 

Hope you enjoy, write your own five things that make you feel these five words listed below, grab the button, and go over and link up!

 Giddy

Jubilant

Ecstatic

Thankful

Giggly

 

 

 One ~ I got a call from my lawyers office! We have sent everything we need so now we're just waiting to hear back now. Ug, I hate waiting! But patience is a virtue.

 

Two ~ I finally got to babysit my newest niece, Jaylen! She's only a couple months old. So adorable and happy! She is by far the perfect baby! She never cries or wines..unless she's super hungry. Jaylen loves to smile and laugh. I love her little laugh! She's so precious. I had her for a good 12 hours...and we had a ball! Of course my fever came back...baby fever that is. 

 

Three~ My divorce was finalized on Tuesday! I'm finally free! I'm now a single woman...sort of. Legally yes. But my heart is most definitely taken. I didn't ask for this nor expect it. There's nothing better than rekindling old friendships, but when one becomes something more...
I'll update this at a later time. Keep checkin' in!

 

Four~  My teddy! I got me a teddy again! I've had a specific teddy bear since I was 9 years old..I'm currently 22. But I left him a ways away so I've been without one for a while. But recently got me another...much better one. He's warming, charming, and perfect. =}

 

Five~ I've been writing again. Poems I mean. I love to write. It's been a passion and talent (so I've been told) of mine since I was a little girl. I feel like a little girl again when I write. It's always been a haven for me. To get lost in the words..in the pen and paper..away from reality.

Nothing more...

Couldn't help but write another.


There’s nothing I want more
Than to see your face,
Hear your voice,
Feel your touch,
Get lost in your gorgeous eyes,
And trace your amazing smile with my lips.

I love nothing more than to lay there and you hold me in your arms.
When you kiss my forehead it sends butterflies in my tummy.
When you whisper in my ear it sends chills down my spine.

There’s nothing more
I shall want or need
Than to hear you say
You love me.

Wee bit of Mee

I know it's officially Thursday, but I had a long day and just getting to my blog. I've noticed this meme going around and I think it's time for you to get to know me a little better! It's called "A Wee bit of Me Wednesdays", by Leigh. Click on the button and check her out! So adorable! I challenge you, my followers, to express yourself a little more each week. I enjoy telling my stories and I hope you delight in them as well!

{one} what is your happiest childhood memory?It's a long one & I apologize... My 9th birthday...party
From waking up to going to sleep. I stayed the night before with my second family (my parents best friends..whom forced all 8 of us kids to become besties as well...luckily it worked, now we are all grown & nearly inseparable). I was lucky enough to get shot-gun on the way to my house! So we're on our way and a couple of the kids start fighting over something. I don't look back because just as I started to, one screams, "Mom! She won't let me hold the rose!" Fail. I ignored it of course. That was a looong ride from WH to Lkld. Well we arrive and just as I open the door to the house, Jason (the oldest) runs around, grabs me, and takes me inside like a groom sweeps his bride off her feet and carries her over the threshold. ;-) To my surprise all my family and friends were waiting for me! To sum this up, my grandmother did the Macarena and I had my first slow dance, with my cousin whom I sort of had a crush on. hehe Got my first horseback ride with my best friend. And a Teddy bear given to me that I still have & goes with me on every trip. I'm currently 22. This was overall the best weekend ever in my childhood life. I remember it like it was yesterday!  {two} what is your middle name?Anne

{three} what’s the habit you’re most proud of breaking?Biting my nails

{four} what do you order when you order Chinese food?Usually Orange Chicken and lo mien noodles

{five} what’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?Recently I thought I hit a gold mine at a neighbor's yard sale! I noticed this worn, damaged, and eye-catching little book of poems by William Wordsworth, The complete Works! It was published in early 1800's! Not only do I admire his work, but I had to have this, no matter the cost! It could be worth something! I rush home to search Ebay, Craigslist, wherever I can find. Paid $5 for it. My profit, if sold: $10. haha!!! Still the best bargain ever!

{six} what’s the best costume you’ve ever worn?Only because my momma made it from scratch, the best costume I have ever had was a princess gown when I was in 1st grade. I was Belle, from Beauty & the Beast. I even had a crown. My crush happened to be a prince. Go figure. This was the day we became good friends. hehe Not to mention we won the costume contest...for cutest outfits & cutest couple! WOOT!

{seven} who’s your favorite game show host?C'mon he's a legend: Bob Barker, of course!

{eight} what’s your favorite breakfast food?French toast and bacon

{nine} what’s your least favorite word?I have two: G_, D_. Read between the lines.

{ten} describe something that happened to you for which you have no explanation.Another lengthy one...
My ex and I went on a date to Mugs & Movies. I don't even remember the movie we saw. I do remember it being PACKED! As it got over, and we got up to leave, we noticed a specific man sitting in the back. We recognized him from 2 years earlier! He recognized us as we passed him outside the theater. He was a homeless man who was very kind & would literally give the shirt off his back to ANYONE. He said a few things to us the night we met him that eventually came true. We just had to talk to him. Lee was his name. We talked for a bit and I wish you could see the glow in his face and eyes as we spent time with him! He also said a few things this night that did eventually come to pass as well. Things we didn't accept until a specific event happened. It was his birthday and he had a couple bucks so he decided to see a movie for himself. Seeing us made his night. Seeing him answered of prayer of mine. Anywho, he asked if we could get him a few things from the store and he'd meet us there. It started to rain almost immediately. Of course we couldn't let him walk in the rain so we gave him a ride. He was so appreciative. As we left, he went his way. Well....when we pulled away and I looked back, he was GONE! Just vanished! We've never seen him since...that was almost 2 years ago. What more can I say to that?! 

okay, your turn!

Sanctum

Another one I wrote...

My mind drifts toward thoughts of you
a million times a day.
You're always here within my heart
you seem to know the way.
An endless craving deep inside.
I need you...oh so much,
To look into those brooding eyes
To feel your gentle touch.
The mere sound of your voice
that makes my spirit soar,
It reaches far into my soul
down to the very core.
You haunt my dreams
a vision so intense,
an apparition,
so sublime no possible defense.
Such joy I can't recall.
Not a single day of  sorrow,
Since we became one.

Because of You

Oh just something I wrote yesterday...thought I'd share it with the world.

I’ve been in darkness for so long just waiting for the light,
And now that you’ve come my way, my days don’t seem like nights.

I’m glad I’m finally overcome my fear of the other side,
Thank you for showing me the way, by taking me on this ride.
You’ve truly touched me deep inside,
You’ve unlocked, opened, the door.

I know it’s nothing serious, but surely it’s a start.
You’ve treated me so equally, I feel it in my heart.

And if this does not work, I’m glad I’ve had the chance,
To see how great you truly are, even just for a glance.

We never know what’ll come of this, it really just depends.
I’m glad we took the first step, in becoming friends.

With you I never have to guess just how you really feel,
You talk to me about the facts and tell me what’s the deal.

With you I feel so comfortable, like nothing can go wrong.
I get this tingly feeling inside, you sing to me like a bird sings a song.

I’m trying to live in the moment, by forgetting about the past,
And so far it’s been working, it’s really been a blast.

So hopefully from this day forth,
I’ll know just what to do,
If ever I come across a guy, another guy, just like you.

I hope I never have to…

I'm free!

Yesterday, Tuesday, was my divorce hearing & the judge granted it! WOOT! I'm now a single gal! Officially! YAY! I'm doing good. Got my best friend by my side and all is peachy! hehe Tomorrow I'll be posting my Thursday five! I'm kind of excited about it. The beginning of my next week. lol Wish I could start it with a job, but not so much luck here...Soon I hope! Anywho, hitting the hay. Just wanted to update. Tootaloo! =)

It's Thursday!!!

Yay it's Thursday again! The beginning of my new week! I tend to go from Thursday to Wednesday now because I look forward to the Thursday five! Woot! Anywho, this is an amazing trend and I think you should hop on the bandwagon! Take the five words listed below and jot down five things/events that made/make you feel each one! Then click on the pic above and link up with Mrs. Gambizzle so others can see it too! 

Our words...

Thankful

Giddy

Happy

Excited

Adored

 

One ~ Tuesday is almost here. My divorce will be finalized and I will be freeee! This has been a real battle and affected my other relationships (with family, friends, even my sailor..which we're no longer together). It's absolutely unexpected and unfortunate. I HATE that this is something we had to go through, but fortunately has also brought me closer to certain others I wish I had been close to all along. I guess I can say that I'm happy about that. 

 

Two ~  I've been numb for so long. About six months now. Recently I've been able to feel again. I put some major heavy duty walls up! But they seem to be non-existent to a certain couple of people. URG. But it's ok. I finally let someone in again and it actually feels pretty good. I don't feel so stressed out. I can breathe again. I'm gonna be alright. And I got my Teddy back! He makes me feel so special, wanted, and adored! I don't believe he'll ever betray me. hehe

 

Three ~  I'm excited for next weekend! Me and my girl are planning a girls night out with a bunch of wonderful ladies! No men, no technology! I so can't wait! Haven't had girl time in a real long time. It's gonna be epic!

 

Four ~  I'm so thankful for the wonders in my life. Wonderful people and a wonderful God. 

 

Five ~  Music always knows my mood. I know, without a doubt, that I'd die without it! 

 

There we go! My Thursday five! Take the challenge..it's a rewarding experience!

Baby Fever

It seems to be an issue in relationships. Baby fever. Say, both want children of their own, biological I mean. But one isn't sure if they can physically have them. Like me for instance. I have PCOS & Endometriosis. I've never really used protection because 1-I'm allergic & 2-I was married, so if it happened, great! Obviously it didn't happen. I'm hurt because all my siblings & most friends have children & I don't. Even now, yet I'm divorced & single, I still have the baby fever. I just love them so much! I was born to be a mommy & I want that so very much! So of course I wonder if it's an issue in a new relationship. He wants children of his own so it's a difficult decision to make: be with me no matter what...or is it too much to bear that we may not have biological children? You know, think about ME & MY feelings here! It hurts me too! Be by my side and we can bear this together. It really should not be an issue. But it is to some people. So to those like me, it really hurts that the "thought" has to be thought about. I'm just sayin. I've seen this come around and felt like I needed to vent it. That's my vent. Comment if you like. Peace!